Saturday, December 21, 2013

On being who you are, and being ok with it.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been a little unsure of myself and have had more than my fair share of battles with low self-confidence.
I have regrettably turned down some fun experiences because I was too self conscious to let loose and have fun. (Nothing too crazy I should add. Things like dancing with friends or riding an elephant at a circus, or playing a sport when I am NOT athletic at all. What if I messed up and someone stared? It turns out, that would be ok, and I’d have some fun along the way!)
I stayed in a physically abusive marriage for years too long because, while I knew in my heart I needed to escape, I also was torn by the thought of “What will everyone think of me if I file for divorce?”  and even worse, “What If I deserve this?” This need for approval kept me from ever voicing a word about the abuse, even to those closest to me, until I was out of it.
I have definitely made faces at myself in the mirror when I see a woman who is a little curvier than she’d like to be. ;)
I have made some seemingly far -fetched goals and almost gave up on them because I started questioning whether I was being self-absorbed to think that someone like me could achieve them.
Thankfully, I’ve made some changes along the way. I have learned (and I am still learning) that it’s ok to be who I genuinely am. Really.
Who you are at your most liberated and freed state of being is a God given gift. We all have our own talents and passions and goals and that’s a good thing!
I think a mix of things have helped me along the way…the myriad of life experiences that I’ve had over the past 5 years have definitely shaped me. Having a husband who loves me exactly as I am and encourages me every day has definitely helped me be ok with who I am. :)
Being a mother, especially to a daughter, has made me realize how very important it is to pass down a gentle self- confidence to my children. My daughter needs to know that there can be girls and women who are comfortable in their own skin and beautiful in their own right. She needs to know that you can be a confident woman without being arrogant or hurting people along the way.  Is it just me, or can women be really catty and judgmental to other women?!  Let’s break that cycle and be encouraging and uplifting to each other!
I can’t mention being a mother without adding that when you are raising children who are beautiful and funny, kind and smart you need to realize that they’re looking up to you. Instill in them all of the things that you wish you hadn’t struggled to find until you were much older.
I hope that you will celebrate all of those things that make you uniquely you. This isn’t about deciding that you’re done improving and are a finished product. :)
This is about listening to your instincts and being who you are. Don’t let self doubt and low self esteem stop you from being the amazing person that you are designed to be!
There are some really important things out there that will only come to pass through you.
When you realize that, the magic begins.


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